“Patti LuPone: A Memoir”

Also known as “Ah, But Underneath”

There’s no one quite like Patti. She’s maintained an estimable career, winning all kinds of awards and constantly challenging herself to be a better artist. And while she’s a respected actress she’s also a personality who herself famously quipped “People either love me…or they hate me” on an episode of Will & Grace.

The actress is not without controversy, as evidenced by the theatre gossip, the backstage rumors and her very public blowouts from Andrew Lloyd Webber all the way down to that lone gunman photographer (she doesn’t talk about Penultimate Patti here). She is an animal of the theatre: she eats, breathes and sleeps it and is immensely proud of being an actor.

It pretty much goes without saying that her self-titled memoir has been one of the most highly anticipated theatre books of the year. Written with the assistance of Digby Diehl, the memoir is what you would expect: blunt, entertaining and unapologetic. It’s not as negative as I expected it to be, but it still tends to be an accusatory affair. There appears to be no stone or grudge left unturned along the way, from her years in Juilliard (a harsh education for which she is ultimately most grateful) to the casting debacle surrounding Sunset Boulevard (probably better remembered for its controversy than the show itself). The writing style is perfunctory, and seems an attempt to capture her voice in the writing regardless of how forced it may seem.

The most interesting revelations of the book aren’t the expectant hardballs lobbed at Sunset Boulevard (which accounts for about 50 pages of the book) or the vindication of Gypsy’s triumph but those years spent training and touring in rep as well as a brief section of the book where she reveals her battle with breast cancer. She lets us in on a couple of amusing childhood anecdotes (I was especially amused with her maternal grandparents’ hijinks) but glosses over the early life and quickly plunges the reader into the Juilliard years.

There are a great many interesting things to be learned here: how the department didn’t care for her, her rebelliousness and how she received her first of many criticisms about her poor diction. (John Houseman once shook her violently and nicknamed her “Flannel Mouth”). She constantly talks shop about technique and training throughout, but whenever she does the memoir veers into the pretentious. There were some amusing anecdotes about The Acting Company; however, I never needed to know about John Houseman’s penis or how they all got crabs from the touring costumes.

It’s clear that LuPone has not gotten over many of the wrongs that have happened to her throughout her career, which adds a certain level of bitterness to the whole thing and detracts from sharing in her triumphs. Gypsy was a culmination and vindication of her talent and longevity, but it takes on the attitude  of “I showed them!” which is ungracious and off-putting. Also, if you happen to cross Patti on an unsuccessful awards night or after receiving bad news, watch out. She is unflinching and perhaps too brutally frank about her own temper and the violent tantrums she’s had throughout her career.

For fans of Evita and Sunset Boulevard, she is terse about both experiences. Listening to Evita’s score, she came to the conclusion that Andrew Lloyd Webber hates women because he wrote much of the role in the passagio. Considering herself a dark horse, she didn’t take much stock in the process but claims that most of the stars who wanted the part couldn’t sing it. “There are still probably only a handful of women who can sing Evita in the original keys.” There’s the critical letdowns, the loss of her singing voice, the All About Eve like antics of her alternate and the instant stardom. Then there’s the admission that she was visited by Eva Peron three times.

Much of the book is devoted to the revival of Gypsy, which bookends the memoir. She opens with a prologue about the Broadway opening night and closes with an epilogue about that final show. (At chapter 16 she starts over again repeating much of the prologue, where was the editor?) But I took exception to some of the comments LuPone made about the show.

When I read the script I did not see the “monster stage mother” that had become the standard description of Rose. I hooked into her love for her children and her desire to do only her best for them, however misguided those intentions were. That’s the way I wanted to play her. It was a departure.

It’s not really that much of a departure. Aside from Merman, the women who have played Rose have never fit the mold of “monster stage mothers.” Each characterization of Rose is singular and unlike any other; each star has left an indelible mark on the character, with performances still talked about every time the show comes up in conversation.  The musical features one of the greatest characters of the genre and there are many ways of playing her. I also think that it’s somewhat ironic, because I think Patti’s portrayal shares more parallels with Merman’s interpretation than any of the other actresses. Just because a particular production of Gypsy happens to be the most recent doesn’t automatically mark it as definitive.

I am curious what aspects of the book, if any, fell prey to the legal department. There is a lot of dish, but it also feels as though she’s holding back and the restraint shows. She even so much as mentions that she’s unable to reprint a letter from Andrew Lloyd Webber without his legal permission. Truly in the moment, she paraphrases instead. But it also seemed as though I’ve heard almost all of the anecdotes she tells before. Whether she’s told them in interviews, profiles, or even as banter in her one woman shows, there was not all that much that was “new.” I also wonder how Cynthia Herman feels about all of this.

“Everything’s Coming Up Roses”

In the last 50 years there have been five Broadway productions of Gypsy, with five distinct and laudable star turns. There was the first: the smash hit original with Ethel Merman that ran 702 performances. Revivals followed with Angela Lansbury, Tyne Daly, Bernadette Peters and Patti LuPone. Each has its champions and its detractors. I admire all five performances, no one Rose is like any other. Merman may not have been a strong actress, but the power of her performance is undeniable. Lansbury’s portrait contains a nuanced ferocity that was heartbreaking. Tyne Daly, not necessarily known for her singing, gave a thrillingly earthy performance. Bernadette received better reviews than people remember and her performance marked a very important milestone in my life.

And of course there is the most recent: Patti (and the reason for this blog). She revisited the iconic act one finale “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The Tony winner has been making the talk show rounds plugging her just-released, self-titled memoir. Merman, of course, sang this song at almost every concert and event post-Gypsy (including Ronald Reagan’s inauguration). Gypsy was the legend’s proudest achievement and she herself felt she could never top it, so she never originated another role. I’ve never heard Tyne or Bernadette revisit this song in concert (though Bernadette does a thrilling “Rose’s Turn” in concert) but hearing Patti sing it on a late night TV talk show – out of its context and without costume – it reminded me a bit of Merman, who sang the song until she stopped making public appearances.

First up is Merm. This particular performance was one of her last, from the 1982 special “The Best of Broadway Merman’s health was starting to fail around this time. The star died in 1984 after a year long battle with cancer. Her physicality was diminished, but that voice was unstoppable…

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Lansbury was daunted at the prospect of taking on Gypsy, giving the formidable impression Merman made with the show, even turning the show down the first time she was asked. But she eventually accepted, with one of the great performances of her career. She sang “Roses” at the close of the 1975 Tonys, at which she took home her third Tony for her Rose. However, here is one that I love even more – her rendition to open the 1989, which sets an incredibly high standard for the evening and gets the audience going…

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And of course, there’s Patti from last night. When she starred in Evita, she was seen on various shows including Carson and Merv Griffin talking and performing (almost always “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”). Nowadays, we don’t see this sort of Broadway-TV crossover, (unless a young pop flavor of the month steps in for stunt casting) and while it was a welcome sight to see the star tearing things up, it was as much a joy to watch host Jimmy Fallon, whose enthusiasm for the Broadway legend and her performance could not be curbed…

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New Music

Over the past couple of seasons, I’ve been generally underwhelmed by the new Broadway musicals. But taking a look at the new musical line up for 2010-2011, my interest is rather piqued. The pedigree is varied, and the ideas ranging from fascinating to bemusing. It’s just shaping up to be a memorable year all around (plays, revivals, star vehicles, etc). I’m not going to talk about the shows that will be built around pre-existing music (Rain, Priscilla Queen of the Desert) or the revivals (How to Succeed, Anything Goes). But here are some thoughts on new musicals scheduled to open this year:

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson – I’m not really what anyone would deem an emo kid, however, I have a weakness for U.S. History and especially for musicals which involve historical figures and presidents (1776, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and Assassins). From the Public comes this fascinating idea of telling the story of Andrew Jackson, one of our most rogue presidents (whose inauguration makes keggers look like high tea in comparison) with a rock score. I wasn’t too impressed by the press event performance, but that hasn’t curbed my interest in seeing the show when it starts performances (I tend to trust the Public Theatre’s judgment). It appears that Benjamin Walker is giving the performance of a lifetime as our nation’s 7th President. My copy of the cast album, which I won on a whim via a twitter contest, should arrive shortly. The show opens Oct. 13 at the Jacobs.

The Scottsboro Boys – This is the one that keeps popping in my head first. It’s got a score by Kander and Ebb, their last to be performed, book by David Thompson and direction/choreography from Susan Stroman. The subject matter is rather serious stuff, but having listened to the score I’m fascinated and riveted (and “Go Back Home” is one of the loveliest ballads I’ve heard in a while). The production makes use of minstrelsy as a concept/framing device. Word of mouth is extraordinary. Reviews are also quite positive, even the negative notice in the NY Times further fueled my interest. The show opens Oct 31 at the Lyceum.

Women of the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown – Lincoln Center has assembled an all-star lineup here and is easily one of the most buzzed about new shows of the season. Now, an all-star lineup doesn’t guarantee success (Paradise Found, anyone?) but it certainly makes it something to look forward to. Lots of favorites in the cast: Patti, Stokes, Benanti, and leading lady Sherie Renee Scott singing a score from the highly underrated David Yazbeck under the direction of the estimable Bartlett Sher. Even if the show weren’t something to anticipate, the musical is housed in the newly renovated Belasco Theatre and I am chomping at the bit to just be inside. Opening night is scheduled for November 4.

Elf – Though I love me some Christmas and even have a Broadway playlist of Christmas related songs on my ipod, I am not a big fan of Christmas shows and spectaculars. This has always been the case; I’ve never been engaged with them as a kid, preferring concerts and meditative services to razz-matazz. Wild horses couldn’t draw me to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. However, I love Christmas movies and Elf, in particular, is a recent favorite. It’s funny and charming without being overly saccharine. I’m curious how it will adapt, especially because Ferrell is such a huge part of why the film works, but I’m ready and willing to give this one a try. Plus it’s got George Wendt as Santa, which to me seems inspired. The show opens at the Hirschfeld on November 14. Limited holiday engagement closes January 2.

SpiderMan: Turn Off the Dark – I’m tired of conjecture and innuendo; I just want to see the show and draw my opinion from that. It will be visually stunning, that’s always a given when Julie Taymor is involved. The curiosity is whether or not the script and score (by Bono and the Edge) have the substance required for a memorable evening. Then again given the hefty price tag and the names involved, this one could very well be Broadway’s answer to the Hollywood summer blockbuster. The debut performance on GMA the other day didn’t really impress me, especially in regards to star Reeve Carney. I understand it was a concert performance, but he was incredibly lacking in charisma. Peter Parker doesn’t exactly cry out for a Robert Preston type turn, but I hope Carney has the energy and wattage to carry the $50 million show. The long-delayed show will officially open December 21 at the Foxwoods (nee Hilton).

The Book of Mormon – I’ll never forget how surprised I was by South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut which was one of the funniest, most irreverent and cleverly written musical comedies in recent memory. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are now trying Broadway, with the assistance of Avenue Q Tony-winner Bobby Lopez on the lyrics. Parker and another Avenue Q alum Jason Moore will direct. Joseph Smith establishes the Mormon religion while contemporary missionaries go to Uganda. Hijinks ensue. Given the reputations of everyone involved, it’s bound to be tuneful, offbeat and an equal opportunity offender. I’m game. The show opens at the Eugene O’Neill on March 24.

Sister Act – I wish I could say I were more excited for this, but I’m not. I’m a big fan of the film and nuns in general; I remember being amazed when I was in third grade seeing groups of nuns going to the movie theatres. But I was even more amazed at how fun and enjoyable the film was. The novelty of the film’s score, taking popular Motown songs and adapting them for a religious context, is what really gave the film its charm. Alan Menken and Glenn Slater have provided a new score which doesn’t serve the film as well as one would hope. It’s got slick, entertainment value but none of that charm (and Slater’s lyrics in general tend to be rather mundane). However, there is something about this show that excites me: the truly fabulous Patina Miller. She starred in the show in London and appears to be destined for stardom. No word on whether she is coming to NY, but I hope that is the case. However, Jerry Zaks is taking over the reigns for Broadway, so we shall see how it all turns out in the end. The London production closes Oct. 30. The new musical is rumored  to replace Promises, Promises at the Broadway Theatre, with previews starting in March. Opening night has yet to be announced.

Wonderland – I don’t like to think of myself as a negative person. Cynical on occasion, yes. But let’s just say I’m for the most part cautiously optimistic. This is a show I just have no interest in whatsoever. Of all the new musicals opening this year it’s the one I’m least interested in seeing. Frank Wildhorn just doesn’t do it for me. Jekyll & Hyde, The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Civil War and Dracula are all lackluster musicals and his track record – even though he managed to have three shows running simultaneously  – is quite disappointing. The musical is a revisionist take on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. But like I said, I’m cautiously optimistic and perhaps my instincts on this will be wrong. The musical opens April 17 at the Marquis.

Yank! has been pushed off for a year to overhaul its libretto, which I think is for the best. The show has promise but in its off-Broadway berth, I felt it really need work. Bobby Steggert remains attached, with David Cromer now directing (which should prove interesting). Love Never Dies is postponed again indefinitely. For now. It continues to run in London, though most people I know disliked it immensely. The score is drab; the title song sounds like the theme to The Apartment and its story is in a word, pathetic. Work continues on the show in London and plans for a Toronto run are underway. Broadway isn’t in the sights at the moment, but something tells me that unlike Whistle Down the Wind, this show may see the light of Broadway.

“Song of Norway” – The 1959 Revival Cast Recording

The unabashedly old-fashioned, nostalgic operetta Song of Norway opened on Broadway in 1944 a year and half after Rodgers and Hammerstein revolutionized the American musical with Oklahoma! The show was the brainchild of Edwin Lester who first produced it at his Los Angeles Civic Light Opera. Song of Norway told the fictionalized life story of composer Edvard Grieg, with Robert Wright and George Forrest adapting the long dead composers’ themes into songs. With direction by Charles K. Freeman and choreography from George Balachine, the show was a smash running 860 performances. It would become the first American musical to open in London after the Second World War and became a staple in stock and local productions. There is also the notorious 1970 film version starring Florence Henderson. I’ve never had the privilege, but I am curious because I’m told it’s even worse than I could imagine.

I’ve only recently encountered the score. The original Decca cast album didn’t hold my attention very much, it was recorded for 78s and the only thing that stood out to me was Kitty Carlisle (who was filling in for floperetta queen Irra Petina – in her only hit, who couldn’t be on the Decca album due to her contract with Columbia). I also listened to the complete 1989 studio cast album, which was actually chore to sit through. I have to confess – as someone who does enjoy legit singing and operetta –  I just don’t care for the show. Overall it’s rather dull, treacly and uninteresting (and in reality, Grieg’s life was rather mundane). Lester, Wright & Forrest re-teamed for Kismet in 1953, which while that one’s not a particularly strong show it’s infinitely far more fun and entertaining. The  music is lovely, but we owe that more to Grieg than Wright & Forrest. I’d rather see a revival of Anya than Song of Norway.

There was one recording of the score that escaped me until now: the 1959 Jones Beach Marine Theatre revival cast recording. It sounds a bit obscure, but it turns out that this was the first one in stereo (and is even a revival of a revival cast album). Of course, I never knew that any of the Jones Beach musicals were ever recorded. The theatre there used to be a popular location for summer revivals of musicals turned into extravaganzas by producer and musical director Guy Lombardo. The outdoor venue is famed for its location on the water – the stage was built in Zachs Bay. This album is the latest rarity from Masterworks Broadway and it features John Reardon, William Olvis, Helena Scott and in the Irra Pettina role, Brenda Lewis, who sung the title role on the recently released Regina. Sig Arno recreates his original Broadway role of Count Peppi La Loup. The orchestra is conducted by Lehman Engel, with Stan Freeman (composer for I Had a Ball and Lovely Ladies, Kind Gentlemen) on piano for the climactic concerto.

The plot is as follows: Grieg, his best friend and sweetheart trill gaily through Scandinavia while the composer dreams of creating great Norwegian music. Enter Italian diva who charms Grieg and whisks him off to Italy for the high life. However, the composer finds himself unfulfilled and on learning of his friend’s death returns to Norway and his true love, culminating in the composition of his incredibly famous Piano Concerto in A Minor. Gag me with a spoon.

While I can’t say much to recommend the show itself, I will readily confess it’s never sounded better to me than it does here. I could listen to Reardon’s exceptional baritone all day long; he’s also on the 1960 studio album of On the Town as well as the original Broadway cast of Do Re Mi. Lewis is recent discovery, thanks to the aforementioned Regina. The singer first appeared in its original Broadway production as Birdie (and if you can track down the piano-only recording of “Lionnet” it’ll be worth your while) then moved into the title role for NYCO. In Norway, she’s a lot of fun as the diva, livening things up with a spirited rendition of “Now.” Helena Scott has a lovely lyric soprano, and sparkles in “Hill of Dreams” and the show’s big hit “Strange Music” (which still strikes me as a bizarre song title). Arno revels in the lively act two opener “Bon Vivant.” If there’s a recording of the show to be heard, this is the one. All in all, it makes for a pleasant listen, but it’s also one of the rare times I hope a new release doesn’t inspire a revival.

The new release is available as a digital download from Masterworks Broadway or Amazon, and in CD-R format from ArkivMusic.

Saturday Shenanigans: “Coco” at Mufti, Beekman Place & Turtle Bay

While heading to the York Theatre Company for their revival of Coco, I unexpectedly found myself at the corner of 49th and 2nd Avenue, which also happens to be “Katharine Hepburn Place”. The great Hepburn lived in a townhouse down the street, which I had never seen before, but since I was meeting up with SarahB and Chris Caggiano I continued on my way. I looked it as a good omen for the day and for sure, the day was a delight from start to finish.

This was my first time seeing one of  the Musicals in Mufti (roughly translated: street clothes) and it’s quite fun. Not as high profile as Encores! (street clothes, piano accompaniment, chairs and boxes), but certainly an excellent resource for connecting with lost or forgotten musicals. Scripts are in hand, staging is simple and the cast is game; a baptism by fire experience. When it comes to Coco, my feelings on the show are pretty well known – in spite of its failings (its lack of drama or conflict, and some poorly drawn supporting characters) I enjoy it very much, particularly the score. The cast album is one of the worst recordings in musical theatre history. The sound quality is terrible and it sounds like it was recorded in a hangar or tunnel. Apparently the album was released and was found to be so horrible that the producers went back and had it fixed immediately, so there are actually two versions of the cast LP (and I understand the poorer of the two has more dance music).

Alan Jay Lerner’s book is incredibly static, but contains some excellent one liners for Chanel. Andre Previn’s music is better than original critics would have you believe and in some places is quite beautiful. The lyrics are for the most part good, but there are many occasions where Lerner’s effort shows. (My favorite number in the show is “The Money Rings Out Like Freedom,” Michael Bennett’s showstopping tribute to the basic black dress). Also, the character of Georges is more of a cipher of Lerner’s misogyny than an actual human being onstage. In fact Lerner’s misogyny tends to permeate the entire show. Chanel espouses independence, but the writer implies that her life was unfulfilled from not marrying and having children. This production reinstated “Someone on Your Side” for the ingenue which should have stayed cut. There was also deadly musical patter for the models in “The World Belongs to the Young” that was not in the original production.

The show hinges on its star. In a live tape of the original, Hepburn, in spite of her considerable vocal limitations, dominates, giving a true star turn that is funny, fascinating and energetic. She also never missed a performance (her standby was the estimable Joan Copeland). Headlining this production was the elegant Andrea Marcovicci, who also starred in a San Francisco revival of the show two years ago. After so many years of listening to Hepburn, it was a bit jarring to hear the role sung and by a soprano. But Marcovicci was a lot of fun and especially memorable in the second act. Her performance of the title song was quite insightful and moving.

The cast also included the wonderful Charles Kimbrough and Lewis Cleale. David Turner was amusing as Sebastian Baye and a model of restraint when compared to shameless Tony-winning originator Rene Auberjonois. Droll support was added by Susan Bloemmart as Chanel’s assistant Pignol. One of the things I realized was that this show relies very heavily on its visuals for effect. Cecil Beaton won a Tony for his eye-popping designs seen in various Bennett fashion parades. But that doesn’t detract from my appreciation at the opportunity to see the show on its feet, its first NY revival since the original closed forty years ago. (There was a workshop last year that eliminated the utterly boring ingenue and juvenile characters, but that didn’t seem to go over very well).

There was a fascinating lobby display with press photos, articles and various programs of the show – including a playbill with Hepburn’s replacement Danielle Darrieux. Given that the show ran a mere two months with Darrieux, that’s a real curio. There is also an article announcing the show as a vehicle for Rosalind Russell (who was married to the show’s producer Frederick Brisson, whose health prevented her from taking on the show) and other curios. There was a talkback, but we decided to spend some time with Chris, who was leaving town in a couple hours. Two rows behind us, much to our surprise, was Andy Rooney who looks even surlier in person. He and wife didn’t return after intermission. We also had the opportunity to meet musical theatre writer and expert Seth Christenfeld, another cyber friend from the twitter/facebook world.

Afterward Sarah and I set out on a pilgrimage to Beekman Place. We figured since we were on the East Side, which is a rather rare occurrence for this Broadwayite, we might as well go have a look. Beekman Place is, of course, the location of Mame Dennis Burnside’s penthouse apartment. The fictional Mame lived at 3 Beekman Place, but apparently the real-life inspiration was housed next door at 1 Beekman Place (we had a quick but memorable view of its staggering lobby). The street is a tiny two block strip East of 1st Avenue and just north of the United Nations, and many of the buildings house UN missions. Some of the houses also contain plaques; Sarah and I were very surprised to learn Katharine Cornell and Guthrie McClintic once lived there. Other famous residents included Irving Berlin, Alfred Lunt & Lynn Fontanne and Ethel Barrymore. The riverside apartments have a rather impressive view of the FDR, East River and outlying boroughs. We took the opportunity to snap some photos and SarahB herself ended up the subject of an impromptu but requisite Beekman Place photo shoot.

After scoping out future real estate options, we made our way to the Turtle Bay Gardens on East 49th Street (the aforementioned Katharine Hepburn Place). Hepburn lived at 244 from 1931 until the mid 90s when her failing health took her to Fenwick, where the star died in 2003. Her famous neighbors have included Garson Kanin and Ruth Gordon and Stephen Sondheim. My first observation of Hepburn’s address was “the house looks empty.” As soon as I said that,  I googled the residence to discover it was recently made available for rent. You can live at Hepburn’s legendary 4 story townhouse for a cool $27,500 a month. (Donations will be gladly and grateful accepted).

From there we walked back to 1st Avenue and strolled down by the United Nations, which I had never seen before and was impressed by its layout, but really think they need to rethink that hideous tower of offices. We also got a glimpse at the brand new United States UN mission. We also glanced south while stopped at a light and saw the impressive beams of light memorializing the attacks of Sept. 11. Then we headed back to our familiar turf for a nightcap at Angus and our usual antics, where we observed some rather unusual patrons. Sarah tried to get me to second act POTO, but I balked. We also thought the St. James was piping American Idiot music through the marquee as we walked by. To our surprise it was actually the performance and we felt the theatre doors of the St. James vibrating. No show needs to be that loud. Overall it was an exhausting and full day, but truly a Saturday to remember.

To Life!

Sometimes we just need a little joy in our lives. Tony-winning creator and star of In the Heights, Lin-Manuel Miranda provides it today with the surprise tribute he made to his wife Vanessa at their wedding this past weekend: a Broadway production number involving the groom, the father of the bride and the family and wedding party. Enjoy:

And to Lin-Manuel and Vanessa, Mazel tov!

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The City That Doesn’t Sleep

A couple weeks back we ventured up to Westport, Connecticut for the delectable production of I Do! I Do! It was our first time going to the venue but Roxie fired up the ol’ caddy and off we went. The drive up was delightful. The whole afternoon and evening was perfect. Dinner, the show, our backstage visit at the theatre and our stop at McDonald’s on the way back to Manhattan. Everything was perfect… that is until we re-entered the Bronx. Suddenly traffic came to a stand still. We were stuck for a spell on the way out, but this was far worse and I don’t think any of us had anticipated it. We kept occupied with SarahB‘s playlist, spending quality time with Sweeney Todd and Anyone Can Whistle.

Well sir, as it turned out there was a pileup in the center lane of the Hamilton Bridge which had been holding us up. I was keeping steady enjoyment in the backseat, taking in the drive and company. But I was also keeping an increasing eye on the clock. The last train out of Grand Central up the Hudson Line departs at 1:50AM. There is nothing after that until 6:20, during which time the NY landmark is closed. Not taking account of the potential for traffic I didn’t think much of getting back to the city and heading home, and for a change I was actually looking forward to getting home and passing out.

As we approached the TLC, Roxie and I worked out our plan. Time was limited but she was going to drive me to 42nd Street – and I was going to dash over to the station. Kari wished me luck on my fool’s journey as we left her at the Snuggery and proceeded to race against the clock. We were pressed for time, but were somewhat positive since the streets of Manhattan were ridiculously clear. We headed to 42nd Street where I bounded out of the Caddy and started to make a run for it.

Barreling down 42nd Street, I braved the excessive late night pedestrian traffic which seemed as though people were just getting started. I was making brisk time but aware that it was slipping away from me. Well, I arrived at Grand Central at 1:53AM. I could see the train’s lights moving away from me down the darkened tunnel.  By the way, my cell phone battery was on its last legs throughout this odyssey. After learning there was an Apple Store open 24/7 up at Central Park South and 5th Avenue, the droid promptly powered down. Going back to the Upper West Side was out of the question at this point – the ladies would be in bed long before could I get there.

The riff-raff (myself included) were unceremoniously given the heave-ho by the men of the NYPD whose job at 2AM was to empty the joint so it could be locked for three and a half hours. Outside, shady cab drivers were offering service to Westchester, but I wasn’t about to get involved with that. So I started to walk around the building and made my way back to 5th Avenue. There really isn’t much open in NY at this point – even on a Saturday night – so I figured I might as well go to this Apple Store and check things out. It was about this time that the rain started falling.

The streets were for the most part empty. An occasional couple meandering around was about it. The homeless all appeared to be fast asleep on the church steps. I was amused, smirking at my own situation. I’ve had some interesting treks to and from Manhattan before, but this was the first time I’d be flying solo overnight. The Apple store was there in front of FAO, in what seems to be a feeble attempt at aping the Louvre entrance. I entered the glass cubicle and descended down the spiral staircase. Much to my surprise, the store was quite active. I wouldn’t peg it as busy, per se, but there were more customers than employees.

I’m not Mac savvy – I haven’t had one myself in ten years – but I still can maneuver my way through a system with considerable ease. So I took up a perch to check into Facebook, Twitter and Gmail to let people have some idea of my whereabouts. It was around this point, I started to realize the sense of adventure the night was bringing me and started to enjoy myself. I started to people watch because I curious to see who was out and about at this time of day. If worse came to worse, I’d resort to my abilities as an Eagle Scout to take care of myself. But one of the things I’ve noticed about my time in NY, most people tend to just leave you alone.

At 3:30 I found myself starting to slip a bit and realized I needed something liquid – and preferably caffeinated – to get me through to 6:20. I  googled Starbucks, and searched for one that was open. Much to my surprise there are only three in Manhattan that are open all night. By my great good luck, the nearest one was in Columbus Circle. So I trekked out in the light rain across the southern edge of Central Park. This was when I started seeing people whose weekly salaries probably equal my annual income tumble out of buildings in ruffled tuxedos and tired cocktail dresses. Every once in a while I would catch someone clearly on an early walk of shame. Traffic was so dead that I stopped paying attention to the lights.

Well, I wasn’t the only one looking for a late night fix. The Starbucks at 60th and Broadway was packed. I ordered a green tea latte and was able to get the last available seat. The people watching continued. At 4AM, there were people still on dates, construction workers on break and some foreign folks having very lively skype calls to Russia and other Eurasian locales. I stayed for about 20 minutes, taking advantage of the opportunity to sit down as seats are scarce in the Apple store.

When I was finished there, I decided I may as well venture back to the store. I was still amazed to see vendors out and about. More people were coming and going in the Apple Store. Folks were camped out in chairs on the plaza in front of FAO Schwartz. I’m guessing some had to be in a similar predicament. The rain had continued lightly, almost like an afterthought. The temperature wasn’t cold either so I wasn’t uncomfortable.

Heading back into the store to play with more gadgets, I noticed the morning crews had come. The floors were now being cleaned, and a very surly looking woman was going around restocking shelves. There were less people about this time, but still folks coming in. Some were taking advantage of the opportunity to get work done. Some were now playing games. The sales clerks were vaguely preoccupied; it seemed as though there were more of them than were necessary for the time, but that’s the great mystery of retail planning. I considered blogging that night…but forgot my password so I just roamed about facebook and twitter for a spell. I checked the weather channel to see what my trek south was going to be like and got up to go.

On my way to the stairs – the elevator was now blocked by a stern custodial worker – the elevator doors opened and much to my surprise, a gentleman rolled out with a child in a stroller who couldn’t have much older than my 18 month old nephew. It was the only time I saw anything close to a reaction on the workers’ face. I gave the blood-shot eyed man a quick glimpse of sympathy – that was a hyperactive baby he had on his hands.

That was when I bounded up and out. I was still marveling at the location of the store when I noticed that nothing much had changed outside The same vendors were still parked utside and the weather was holding steady, with light rain. My feet were pretty much in full rebellion at this point – miles in dress shoes do not a merry trek make and was just hoping to get home and into bed as soon as humanly possible. It didn’t take long to get back to the station where there was a rather amusing lineup of drunks waiting to get in and get home. Some were slouched, some were chatting, some were completely passed out. They let us in around 5:15.

At this point, I was done. Most of my friends know I like to stay up late but I really don’t like pulling all-nighters. I rarely did so in college. So I checked out the schedule and collapsed in front of the scheduled track. I started to doze off and waited. I eventually got home at 8:15 after a very long train ride (with connection) and unceremoniously passed the hell out.

Catching up with “Our Town”

When Katharine Hepburn made her one and only appearance at the Academy Awards in 1975 and the standing ovation subsided, she motioned to the audience to sit down and thanked them profusely. But she immediately followed that with, “I’m also very happy that I didn’t hear anyone call out, ‘It’s about time.'”

When I was taking my seat in the Barrow Street Theatre for Friday night’s performance of Our Town, that’s what ran through my mind. The show has been running off-Broadway since last February and for one reason or another I kept putting it off. Truth be told, there were too many visits to Mary Stuart and The Norman Conquests for me to focus on what was going on downtown. Then David Cromer left and, well, I kinda lost interest. I was told I had to see it with him, and his absence sort of made me go “Well…” Now that the show is in its final weeks and Cromer has returned, it was my warden’s reprieve (you wouldn’t believe the looks I got when I said I hadn’t seen it yet).

I went with my friend Russ Dembin, who happens to be a dramaturge and something of an expert on the play. Now this was one of the few dramas that I have never encountered in any form (unless you count that cheap final scene of Next Fall), so I was fortunate to have him with me, feeding me info on the play’s history, various landmark productions (and yes, we talked the Paul Newman TV musical where Sinatra first sang “Love & Marriage” – take a look at the title of the play’s second act). We were seated and I waited, casually checking out the various corners. I just knew where Cromer would be entering and I was not wrong.

However, there were certain things I picked up on – the house lights weren’t lowered. He was in street clothes. This was to say nothing of the “scenery” – two tables and eight chairs, each representing the two major households. During his introduction, which was delivered with the same emotional gravity of a house manager informing the audience of the fire exits, he pointed out various locales in the fictional Grovers Corners. However, I wasn’t prepared when he asked a question. Directly at me, locking eyes with mine. Taking that moment to make me look at the sunrise over the far side of the theatre, I started to see what he was up to as both a director and storyteller – immersing the audience in the world of the play.

The cast was in street clothes, with only rehearsal pieces of costuming like aprons to suggest the time of the play. Everything else was modern – the clothes, the wallets with metrocards in them and the textbooks looked they were picked up from a recently closed NY city school. Questions were given to random audience members, Cromer perched himself around the auditorium to observe the action (that could be intimidating for actors). The play has always been famous for being metatheatrical and Cromer strips away further excesses to get to the point of Wilder’s Pulitzer prize winning play.

His work is especially evident in the cast, who make great use of the performing space. The ensemble is on the whole absolutely terrific. Jennifer Grace is probably twice the age of Emily, but she imbues her with the shy earnestness of a bookish teenager and you buy it. But my personal favorite was Ann Dowd as Mother Gibbs; I just could not take my eyes off of her whenever she was onstage.

The third act was, of course, the apex of the entire production with a stunning flourish of realism in the metatheatrics while Emily relives her 12th birthday. Cromer keeps the proceedings relentlessly unsentimental and that only adds to the poignancy of the moment. Not knowing the play, many folks had told me it had a real downer of an ending. While it’s definitely sad, I felt quite the opposite.  I couldn’t have asked for a better introduction to the piece.

I’m glad I got to see it before it closed and well… it was about time. And after the play was over, I really wanted some bacon. In fact, I still want some.

At Large Elsewhere: Fighting Clean

A few weeks back, Peter Filichia wrote a column called “Fighting Clean,” in which he talked about how he went note for note with a boom-box squatter on his front stoop. The guy came and sat with his radio blasting, so Peter fought fire with The Sound of Music motion picture soundtrack. I immediately related; I did something similar back when I was in college. I love a shout-out and I got a brief one in his August Leftovers column, which contains other similar anecdotes. Here was mine in its entirety:

It was fall 2003 and I was a junior in New Paltz. I was never one for partying, so I usually stayed in on weekends while the rest went out. During the second weekend of this semester I came down with a terrible sinus infection, and a nasty one at that. I could hardly breathe, my head was pounding and was shaking. I lived suite style in the dorms. My roommates were all out getting drunk. I was in bed highly medicated and trying to get some much needed rest. Unfortunately, I was in a corner room, so the wall next to my bed was shared with another suite area entirely (no one we bothered getting to know). Well sir, the neighbors come in around 3:30AM (bars closed at 4) and proceeded to blast their music as loud as possible. I couldn’t even tell you what it was, but it was loud, dissonant and rather angry. (and did I mention loud…?)

Anyway, I was lying there sick and growing increasingly frustrated. When I’d had enough, I started pounding on the wall. They either couldn’t hear me or were ignoring me. My calls to the RAs and night watch crew were unanswered. I couldn’t get through to anyone. So I took it into my own hands. I pulled myself out of bed, brought myself to my desk and very casually flipped through my CD collection. I then set up my computer speakers facing the wall, popped on the original Broadway cast recording of “Evita” and played “A New Argentina” at the loudest volume possible. Within ten minutes not only had the music stopped, they left. I turned everything off, medicated and got back into bed with a smile and slept until I felt human again.

A few weeks later, they pulled the same stunt. I was home by myself again, but healthy. Again, couldn’t get through. So I grabbed my phone, put on my shoes and stormed over to their suite door. I pounded; they opened up the door and with as much authority and attitude I could muster, said “We’ve been getting complaints…” They cut off the music, apologized and I gave them one last disappointed dad glare before heading back to my room. Never had a problem again.