Is It a Crime…?

-to have wanted Grey Gardens to sweep the 2007 Tony Awards?

-to admire every actress who has starred in Gypsy on Broadway and not play favorites?

-to prefer William Warfield’s rendition of “Ol’ Man River” to Paul Robeson’s?

-to want the original production of Follies – sets, costumes, staging – brought back every year or made part of the NYCO repertory?

-for Encores! to stick to their original mission? (More Juno, less Birdie)

-to want a cast album for every musical that opens, regardless of whether or not the show is any good?

-to dislike the British megamusicals?

-for actors to be cast by hard work, discipline and auditions rather than a reality TV series?

-for a musical to be wholly original?

-to admire both Jerry Herman and Stephen Sondheim?

-for a contemporary non musical play to sustain a three year run?

-to prefer integrated musicals over interpolated musicals?

-to delineate between a revue and a jukebox musical?

-to gently correct people when they mistakenly use the term “Broadway soundtrack” instead of “Broadway cast album/recording”?

-to televise the Tony Awards ceremony in a different Broadway house each year?

-for Colony to gouge their prices so?

-to close a cash cow that’s become an industry joke?

-to disapprove of the internet surcharges and service fees when purchasing theatre tickets?

-for the exemplary Jan Maxwell to star in a critical and financial smash on Broadway?

-for the original orchestrations to be respected rather than discarded (I’m talking to you, Roundabout)

-for the Times Square Church to vacate the Mark Hellinger Theatre?

-for a Broadway house to be named for Oscar Hammerstein II?

-to allow more than three minutes for a Best Musical and Revival of a Musical nominee to perform on the Tony telecast?

-to enjoy the new pedestrian friendly Times Square?

-to listen to an overture, entr’acte and exit music uninterrupted by conversation?

-for individuals to turn off their goddamn cell phones, blackberries and iPhones while a show is in progress? (oh wait, it is…)

-for Encores! (or some other group) to present an annual concert series of Broadway flops for us to see how and why they failed?

-to have a hit show play the Lyceum Theatre?

-for contemporary musical theatre composers to write pop scores that aren’t unhealthy to sing?

-to have the Drama Desk Awards aired on PBS again?

-for Off-Broadway theatre to get as much love as Broadway?

-to grab a lamppost and then sing “Sweet Adeline”?