Life Lessons from the Merm

All the following quotes have been credited to Ethel Merman. Some of them quite choice. I can’t say for certain whether or not she actually said all of them, but I wouldn’t be surprised… I offer them for your enjoyment. 

– Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice.

– Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I’m facing them.

– As far as dramas are concerned, it’s considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand.

– At a flea market I always head for the junk jewelry table first.

– At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn’t think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped – and I haven’t had a cigarette since.

– Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I’ve been very good to Broadway.

– Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

– Cole Porter had a worldwide reputation as a sophisticate and hedonist.

– Cole Porter wrote Anything Goes and four more hits for me.

– Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most.

– I am known to be able to take care of myself when I become angry. I don’t mince words.

– I attend surprisingly few shows. The type of theater that is popular today just doesn’t appeal to me.

– I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they’d be up here on stage and I’d be out there watching them.

– I don’t like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.

– I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I’m not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint.

– I preferred delivering my performance in person. I liked to be in control. You couldn’t be in films.

– I take a breath when I have to.

– I was born in my parents’ bedroom on January 16. The World Almanac says it was 1909. I say it was 1912. But what difference does it make as long as I feel 33?

– I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me.

– I wasn’t straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals.

– I work as often as I want and yet I’m free as a bird.

– People who retire fall apart. As long as you’ve still got it, use it.

– I wouldn’t change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes.

– I wouldn’t trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.

– I’ll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

– I’ve made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character – the professional brassy dame.

– I’ve never cooked. I can’t do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.

– I’ve never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.

– If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.

– In my case, things have pretty much been handed to me.

– Legend has it that when God created me, he gave me a big distinctive voice, a lot of boldness and no heart.

– Mom and Pop were proud of my popularity, but from their point of view, show business was no way to make a living.

– Mom claimed that I could carry a tune at 2 or 3 years of age. Maybe she was a little prejudiced.

– Music, in the past few years… anything singable or understandable is square.

– My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that’s the way it will always be.

– My career at Warner Brothers consisted of one musical short subject. I was running around in a bear skin. Very chic.

– My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I’m a natural musician.

– Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don’t regret.

– Once I had all the attention, all I had to do was deliver.

– The slapdash way producers used to assemble a show seems a little unbelievable when we talk about them now.

– There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I’m Ethel Merman.

– There’s such a thing as theater discipline. One player doesn’t appropriate another’s inventions.

– When I’m asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven’t the foggiest.

– When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.

– There are lots of show tunes left to do.

– You can’t buck a nun. (Losing the Tony for her Rose to Mary Martin’s Maria von Trapp)

– Call Miss Bird’s Eye 1950, this show is frozen! (being presented new lyrics for Call Me Madam)

"Don’t Touch the Coat…"

Pacific Overtures is one of the most fascinating of Stephen Sondheim’s musicals. A concept musical about the westernization of imperial Japan in the 19th century, and its impact on Japanese culture and traditions is not your typical musical. Sondheim studied Eastern music for months, director Hal Prince adapted the styles of Kabuki theatre for the production in its design and staging. The results are mesmerizing. The show featured an almost all-male cast that included Mako, Yuki Shimodo (the original Ito in Auntie Mame!), Sab Shimino, Alvin Ing (who reprised his role for Roundabout) and Gedde Watanabe (later part of Sixteen Candles? Anyone?). The show opened in 1976 at the Winter Garden, where it ran for 193 performances. I saw the Roundabout revival, starring B.D. Wong. While I didn’t particularly care for that production on the whole, I was able to look past what I disliked to admire the brilliance in the writing of Sondheim and librettist John Weidman.

While the show boasts the ever-brilliant favorite of Sondheim, “Someone in a Tree,” I would have to admit that “Please, Hello” is my personal favorite song in the entire score. It’s mammoth 9 minute act two opener in which America, Britain, Holland, France and Russia are vying for detente with Japan. It’s a marvel of sophistication, historical accuracy, pastiche (each country is represented by a native musical style of the period) and vocal arrangement. The number was the highlight of the revival, bringing the show to a halt.

The original production was taped for broadcast on Japanese television, but has never been aired in the US. (Calling PBS!! Or Image Home Entertainment!)

Here is the original cast performing “Please, Hello.” Enjoy.

Quote of the Day, plus a Book Recommendation

“It hits me: Life should be like musicals: along with the sentimental ballads and the sadness hiding in the shadows, laughs, lots of laughs, and dancing always. I think I understand that now.

You can write the pain (God knows there’s enough of it), or you can let loose with the joy.

Why did I remember half this stuff? Because it’s a memoir, pal.

But it’s not. It’s a musical comedy.”

– Charles Strouse, from his memoir Put on a Happy Face

If you’re itching for something to read, I highly suggest Mr. Strouse’s memoir. I got it last night and finished it early this afternoon: it’s engaging, honest and always entertaining (and occasionally dishy). There are many other amusing anecdotes and quotes, but you have to read the book in order to get some of those (Arthur Laurents, how could you? oh wait… we remember).

You get his perspective on the many shows of his career, from his summer revues at Green Mansions all the way up to Marty (which according to a photo caption in the book recorded a cast album last year with John C. Reilly and Carolee Carmello) and The Night They Invaded Minsky’s (which will be mounted in LA at the Ahmanson in late 2009, with Bob Martin as the new librettist). Lots of colorful characters along the way. Mr. Strouse seems like a very congenial, approachable gentleman who has supplied us with several standards of the canon like Bye Bye Birdie and Annie, hits like Applause and Golden Boy, but also with several misfires, such as Rags, Annie 2, Bring Back Birdie, to name a few. I knew he and his frequent collaborator Lee Adams wrote the iconic “Those Were the Days” for All in the Family. What I didn’t know was that the presentation with Jean Stapleton and Carroll O’Connor was Strouse’s idea (stemming from a lack of budget and a nostalgic homage to his own parents). The only complaint? I wish the book were more in depth.

Florida Educator Terminated for Appearing in "The Full Monty"

Emil Steiner in the Washington Post blogs.

Is an educator responsible for the content of extra-curricular activities, (or pertaining to this incident: when appearing in a community theatre production of The Full Monty)?

Given the nature of the show, the nature of the production and the nature of the situation, I think that the school is overreacting. It’s not as if the students were forced to participate in the event; it just doesn’t seem fair. I hope someone finds this man a job – and soon.

It’s an honor and a joy…

I did four shows in one week. I think that could be a personal record. August on Tony Sunday. Gypsy first post-Tony. Then Friday evening I took in the Roundabout revival of Les Liaisons Dangereuses and Sunday afternoon Curtains.

When I go to the theatre alone, it’s very much a gamble the sort of audience experience I will have. I was most fortunate that my mezzanine seat was traded in for a center orchestra spot. I had the most wonderful conversation with a very classy, middle-aged couple who love the theater immensely and go as often as they can, whether together or alone. We discussed everything about the current season, the Tonys, what we were most looking forward to the coming year. It was akin to our blogger brunches, deep common bond stemming from a genuine enjoyment of the live theatre experience. I greatly enjoyed my twenty minutes spent with this witty, urbane couple prior to the show. Plus the engaging 15 minutes intermission (I was asked if I wanted anything from the bar. God, I love manners).

Then the houselights dimmed and the curtain came up on Ms. Laura Linney looking resplendent in period costumes and a surprisingly drab set. (Roundabout, you gave Old Acquintance an applause worthy second act set, you had to skimp on an opulent period production?) Les Liaisons, which first played Broadway in 1987 with Alan Rickman and Lindsay Duncan (that must have been some production) is adapted from the novel by Choderlos de Laclos by Christopher Hampton. My connection with the story goes back to an 18th century literature course I took in college. Truth be told, I didn’t care for it when I read it, studied it or when we watched the 1988 film adaptation of Hampton’s play Dangerous Liaisons with all its Oscar nominated glory and Glenn Close. This let to some trepidation from me upon spending the money to see the show, but I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to see Laura Linney onstage. That was the sole reason for going.

The current production is decidedly uneven. Clocking in at 2 hours and 45 minutes, it makes for a rather long evening. And though she proved fascinating to watch on stage and was giving 110%, Linney felt miscast as the Marquise de Merteuil. The reason to see it surprisingly enough turns out to be English actor Ben Daniels in his Broadway debut as Valmont. The word that springs to mind most to describe him onstage would be fearless. An engaging, witty and foppish presence, the play loses steam whenever he isn’t around. (The audience gasped en masse when he dropped his robe in the forced seduction scene). The scenes he has with Linney are the most interesting and compelling, everything else feels like waste. Mamie Gummer (aka Meryl Streep’s daughter) is making her Broadway debut as the virginal Cecile and Sian Philips has the choice supporting role of Madame de Rosemonde. Well, actually the entire supporting cast was underwhelming. I couldn’t help but think how interesting this story would be as a mere two-hander, akin to the style of the original novel. I was glad for the opportunity to see the two actors, but I still don’t like it.

Things were much more entertaining at Curtains. Now, for whatever reasons (financial or otherwise) I’d held off on seeing the Kander and Ebb musical, though my desire to see it was never in question from the first announcement of its out of town tryout. I saw the original cast of Spamalot the week before the Tonys, and I thought David Hyde Pierce was the most Tony worthy of the three stars, yet the only one overlooked for a nomination! His “You Won’t Succeed on Broadway” was a colossal showstopper, and he proved himself a successful – if unlikely – musical comedy star.

Curtains isn’t a perfect musical comedy. There are incredible flaws, but I’m assuming that stems from the unfortunate fact that both bookwriter Peter Stone and lyricist Fred Ebb passed away while the musical was still in development. While John Kander continued the project, bringing Rupert Holmes on board to finish. The story is a murder mystery set at the Colonial Theatre during the out of town tryout of a 1959 musical. The leading lady, who is atrocious, is killed during her curtain call and everyone in the company is kept in the theatre while the affable Detective Cioffi, a big theatrephile alternately solves the crime and helps turn the show into a hit. There is a great deal of charm and heart to the show, which is probably why I admired it. The book’s structure could have used some work, especially the first twenty minutes or so. Also, there were issues to be had with some of the lyrics – mostly in the show-within-a-show’s songs. In particular, the big production number “Thataway,” the word “bitch” or the lyrics “what’s that stirring in my pants” are two lyrics that would never have been considered for a stage musical, especially in 1959 Boston (where things were too often banned for being too salacious). (It has to be Rupert Holmes contribution as Kander and Ebb would have been aware of what would fly and what wouldn’t).

David Hyde Pierce provided the lone upset at the 2007 Tony awards with his win over Raul Esparza (much to the chagrin of many Company enthusiasts). Truth be told, I enjoy a good upset, so it made me almost hit the floor when Bernadette Peters shouted out his name as the winner. You could also tell that he was just equally shocked through his extraordinarily gracious and humble acceptance. His performance was stellar; a musical comedy turn that was funny, offbeat and surprisingly touching. Plus, he had one of the most convincing Boston accents I’ve ever heard. Karen Ziemba was everything I wanted her to be and more – a winning performer giving her all. And at 50, she shows no signs of slowing down or aging. Seriously, the woman looks like she’s in her late 30s, early 40s. And dances like she’s 20. “Thataway” stopped the show. Debra Monk was out, but Patty Goble was on, giving a strong performance as the ballsy producer Carmen Bernstein, reminiscent of a broad Andrea Martin. Jason Danieley’s tenor soared on the lovely “I Miss the Music.” Noah Racey and Megan Sikora were superlative dancers. Edward Hibbert got the best lines and the most laughs from his wry lines as the flamboyantly acerbic British director. Erin Davie has yet to shirk off her Little Edie-isms, and that distracted from her performance. I think out of the score, the only song that felt like a total dud was “The Woman’s Dead.” It wasn’t funny, it didn’t work and only provided amusement in conductor David Loud’s reprise “The Man is Dead” at the top of the second act. Aside from that, “Show People,” “Music,” “It’s a Business” – it was a tuneful musical comedy score. I haven’t been able to get the infectious melody for “Thataway” out of my head.

The production was solid. Great orchestrations, clever choreography and good staging. I couldn’t help but be reminded of Destry Rides Again when looking at the scenes from Robbin’ Hood. (A western musical on Broadway in 1959, yeah, it was bound to happen). It felt like I was watching a Golden Age show. Not necessarily one of the top-tier, but a solid B musical. For a contemporary musical comedy it was especially wonderful in that it wasn’t overtly tongue in cheek or self-referential, which has become the norm these days. It wasn’t perfect, I readily admit that. But if it provides a genuine, grin-inducing, feel-good experience, who cares? After leaving the Al Hirschfeld Theatre (last time I was there it was the Martin Beck), I couldn’t help but be pleased that in a few years this show will reach the high school realm. For educational theatre, particularly on the high school level, it will provide a great male lead for those unlikely to be considered for similar roles in classic titles. The show closes this coming Sunday, so hurry if you can.

While I didn’t make any acquaintances at the Hirschfeld, on the train ride home, I encountered an elderly couple that had attended Chicago. The cue was “I hear Gypsy is excellent.” Of course I had to corroborate their source. It led to an engaging conversation that lasted for the entire train ride. Again, the common bond was the love of the theatre. The husband recalled his first Broadway experience, which was the original production of The Diary of Anne Frank with Joseph Schildkraut. The wife immediately one-upped him by recounting her experience seeing The King and I with Gertrude Lawrence. She even went on to tell how the night she went, the Queen of the Netherlands was in attendance, making it all the more special for her. When I mentioned that I wished I was there, she told me ‘You’re young. When you’re older, you’ll hear the same thing from the younger generations when you tell them you’re story. It evolves like that and that is part of what makes it so special.”

And I think with those sage words, I bid you a good night!

My Fair Kelli

This weekend’s issue of Parade magazine features an article by Kevin Sessums about the darling of the NY stage, Ms. Kelli O’Hara. It’s becoming quite clear that O’Hara is on her way to musical theatre stardom with her Tony nominated turns in The Light in the Piazza, The Pajama Game, and currently the smash-hit Lincoln Center revival of South Pacific. Well, aside from being delightful, charming and gracious, the actress discusses future prospects, such as her desire to be a mother and well, let me just quote the article here:

“But the buzz is that producers are competing to put together a full-fledged production of My Fair Lady centered around her recreating yet another iconic role: Eliza Doolittle.”

Out of many of the classic musical theatre roles, I feel that Eliza is the pitch-perfect role for this versatile singing actress. She already played the part last year to considerable acclaim in concert with the NY Philharmonic, and would be most ideal in a full-scale revival – moreso than other current soprano on the boards. I would go so far as to think that this could be the show that potentially nets her the coveted Tony award she so richly deserves. (Her Tony experience is starting to remind me of Kate Winslet at the Oscars – stellar performance, but just not her year).
The last time My Fair Lady, one of the sturdiest pillars of the Golden Age canon, was revived on Broadway was fifteen years ago in a Weissler-produced production at the Virginia (now August Wilson) that starred Richard Chamberlain and Melissa Errico and closed after 165 performances.

I feel that the musical should be given its due – the 50th anniversary came and went without much fanfare and from what I understand, NY producers are wary of the Cameron Mackintosh production due to its incredible size and expense. Frankly, I would prefer that the show be given the respect it deserves, with a full-scale revival utlitizing the original orchestrations by my friend and yours, Robert Russell Bennett. (Which our friends at Lincoln Center could do…) Also, I don’t like when people feel the need to tamper with the book. Take for instance the recent Mackintosh revival that played in London for two years and on tour in the US. The original climax of act one is when Higgins unexpectedly dances Eliza into the arms of Zoltan Karpathy, the ultimate gamble, as Karpathy’s expertise will prove whether or not Higgins and Pickering succeeded. (Case in point, your act finale leaves the audience hanging as to what will happen in order to bring them back for the second half). It is not when she leaves for the ball – in fact, it’s rather anticlimactic to have her go to the ball, break for interval, then come back for a ball scene. It would make more sense just to cut the “Embassy Waltz” than bastardize Lerner’s near-perfect libretto. And in my Dismounting the soap-box…

Now kids, who would you like to see in a revival opposite O’Hara? We’ve got a Higgins, Pickering, Freddy, Mrs. Pearce and Mrs. Higgins to fill. Aaaaaand go…

Hodge Podge

It was announced today that joining Stockard Channing and Christian Hoff in the Roundabout revival of Pal Joey would be none other than that songbird of the stage Martha Plimpton. Wait. Martha Plimpton? Martha “I Hate Mouth” Plimpton from The Goonies is going to be in a musical? I’m not thinking that it won’t be interesting – I just renewed my Roundabout subscription (with a free upgrade to center row A mezz seats) for the coming year, but you gotta admit, it’s a tad bit surprising. However, I think Plimpton will provide an amusing interpretation of Gladys Bumps. What worries me more is that Richard Greenberg has revised the libretto, changing characters and through-lines, and reassigning songs. For instance, Plimpton’s Gladys is going to be delivering “Zip,” the cameo show-stopper for the wise-cracking Melba that Elaine Stritch revisited in At Liberty. However, I’m thinking the script revisal is more of an excuse for Roundabout to commission the inevitable “new” orchestration that will feature a piano, a violin and a kazoo.

Cry-Baby was the first Tony casualty. The show ends its brief run at the Marquis Theatre this Sunday, June 22 after 45 previews and 68 performances. After seeing the lifeless production number with the license plates, I’m not surprised…

Well, it seems that Delta Burke’s – or rather – Faith Prince’s (oops! my bad) pitch-wary performance on the Tony awards didn’t help A Catered Affair’s advance. The show, in spite of its addition of a Thursday matinee for the middle-aged female crowd who has reportedly taken to the piece, will end its run at the Walter Kerr on July 27 after 27 previews and 117 performances. My first thought is, “Wow, Matt Cavenaugh is going to experience some major deja vu.” (As Grey Gardens closed the same weekend at the same theatre last year). That’s gotta be a weird experience for an actor, you know?

There will never be a dancer who epitomized beauty, elegance and poetry in motion like Cyd Charisse. When the world lost her this week at the age of 86, another glorious legend was lost to all but our cinematic conscious. Do yourself a favor – watch The Band Wagon or It’s Always Fair Weather or Silk Stockings or rewatch Singin’ in the Rain for her cameo in the “Broadway Melody” sequence. She was one of a kind – and when she dances, it’s ethereal. If it’s got Cyd, it’s got class. Charisse realized her dream of appearing on Broadway in the early 90s when she assumed the role of Elizaveta Grushinskaya, the aging ballerina in Grand Hotel. She is survived by her husband Tony Martin – yes the MGM musical star, to whom she was married for sixty years. He is currently 95 and still performing. She is also survived by her two sons and her niece Zan, who is most noted for her turn as Louise opposite Angela Lansbury in her London and Broadway productions of Gypsy.