The Tony Closing Number

In what was probably the best Tony performance last evening, Neil Patrick Harris closed the show with a little medley reprising the opening combination of West Side Story and Guys and Dolls with new lyrics by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.

Tonight, tonight
The Tonys were tonight
And Elton’s Billy was all the rage
What class, what drive
Now Angela won five
And she hooked up with Poison backstage

With heels as sore as poor Achilles
Three tutu-wearing Billys
Were such a winning sight

Tonight, all three
Won Tony plus they hit puberty

(to “Luck be a Lady”)

And Geoffrey won a Tony tonight
Karen won a Tony tonight
Liza at the Palace
Mr. Ripley’s daughter Alice
They all won a Tony tonight

Credits! That’s not going to stop me!

(“Tonight”)

Chris Sieber – please!
Performing on your knees?
Dude, that only works
To win Golden Globes

I hope, tonight,
When they’re high as a kite
To be there when the Hair cast disrobes

This show
Could not be any gayer
If Liza was named mayor
And Elton John took flight

The curtain falls
I’m off to hit some big Tony balls
Goodnight!